Tikva Eibik

I do actually think sometimes, as shocking a revelation as this may be (no really – right now I’m thinking “I wish the college had firefox, I miss my spellchecker”); and I also read a newspaper once in a purple moon. I’m nearly a month late in seeing this story, which I blame on half term – who reads newspapers on holiday, psh – but it inspires me to a bout of opinionated writing.

The standard health and safety warning: If you don’t feel like thinking, look away now! Go watch youtube. Or do a search on i-am-bored.com. There’s a video of a scouse who made Cloud’s buster sword out of scrap metal on there, complete with action testing. Go on, scat!

Anyway, this is the article I was reading at the time, sitting, ironically, on the steps of the church in Henley town centre: Secularists have nothing to fear from women wearing headscarves (That French headscarf ban really pissed me off, all those years ago)

And the speech given by the Archbishop of Canterbury, which it seems sparked the furore (which passed me by completely) over the application of Sharia law in Britain: Civil and Religious Law in England: a religious perspective (There are two pages!)

And here is a more link!
Read the rest of this entry »

This has existed for a while, but I don’t think I ever got round to telling anyone about it. Random fun videos page.

How does everyone still manage to hold on to this incontravertible belief that the sun shines out of my arse?
I haven’t been the perfect little golden girl since I was eleven. I spent most of year eight in detention, most of years nine and ten drunk, and most of year eleven at home because I couldn’t cope with school. So far year twelve has consisted of doing very little work and playing poker in class. And yet, my parents still believe that I’m “hiding my light under a bushel”. Because it would be ridiculous to assume that someone who in the words of her teachers is “insular and antisocial” and who every few weeks comes home four hours early and completely drenched might just.. argh, I sound like an emotard now.
But I honestly can’t imagine that after five years, it hasn’t once crossed their minds that the reason I don’t do it right is not that I won’t, but that I can’t. I’m sick to death of doing twice the work for half the results; and here’s my mother saying “you have three weeks till the meeting, catch up on two terms of work and do it BETTER than anyone else, it’ll be easy for you!”
Oh I just can’t wait to hear my father’s reaction to me dropping psych. He’ll probably consider it an imprisonable offence, or at least a shameful act of ingratitude for all he’s bloody done for me. Maybe I should reference an imaginary girlfriend during this meeting too, just for the entertainment value.

A chain mail (the good bit is at the end):

Louise Batts wrote:
>
>
> From:
> To:
> Subject: FW:
> Date: Sun, 3 Feb 2008 21:44:35 +0000
>
>
>
> From:
> To:
> Subject:
> Date: Sun, 3 Feb 2008 21:32:47 +0000
>
> Hey it is tara and john the directors of MSN, sorry for the interruption but
> msn is closing down. this is because too many inconsiderate people are
> taking up all the name (eg making up lots of different accounts for just one
> person), we only have 578 names left. If you would like to close your
> account, DO NOT SEND THIS MESSAGE ON. If you would like to keep your
> account, then SEND THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE ON YOUR CONTACT LIST. This is no
> joke, we will be shutting down the servers. Send it on, thanks. WHO EVER
> DOES NOT SEND THIS MESSEAGE, YOUR ACCOUNT WILL BE CLOSED AND YOU WILL COST
> 10.00 A MONTH TO USE. SEND THIS TO EVERYONE ON YOUR CONTACT LIST. NOW YOU
> KNOW WHAT TO DO. PLEASE DO NOT FORWARD THIS or REPLAY. COPY THE WHOLE EMAIL.
> GO BACK TO YOUR INBOX AND CLICK ON NEW. AND PASTE THANK YOU FOR YOUR
> ATTENTION. It’s no joke if you don’t believe me then go to the site
> (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/1189119.stm ) and see for yourself.
> Anyways once you’ve sent this message to at least 18 contacts, your msn dude
> will become blue

>
> Messenger on the move. Text MSN to 63463 now!
>
>
> Everything in one place. All new Windows Live!
>
>
> She said what? About who? Shameful celebrity quotes on Search Star!

My response:

If you didn’t foward this crap, please ignore. Faram and all that.

If you did…

1) The directors of msn can spell, use grammer, and create hyperlinks. The author of this email cannot.
2) A lack of available handles is already being dealt with by the implimentation of new domains. Why would this be neccesary?
3) Microsoft makes a mint out of hotmail. They ain’t closing it any time soon.
4) Hotmail accounts left inactive for a certain period of time are closed automatically (which I discovered to my detriment). Chain mails are not needed.
5) You know those things in your face? Called eyes? Use them on this:
Microsoft is reportedly planning to start charging surfers for the improved services of its MSN internet portal.
and the caption above which says this:
Microsoft says that its hotmail service will still be free
’nuff said.
6) This mail has been circulating since I was in secondary school. Quoth the raven, “soon(tm)”.
7) “YOUR ACCOUNT WILL BE CLOSED AND YOU WILL COST
10.00 A MONTH TO USE.“.
You cannot use a closed account. Currency is not universal. Also, grammatically, this sentence states that you will be the cheapest whore this side of Soho. No reference to paying for email whatsoever.
8) “if you don’t believe me“.
If you don’t believe the directors of msn, they really don’t give a flying one.
9) You are a retard.
10) GMAIL. I am on GMAIL.

This rebuttal courtesy of your favourite insane walrus,
whitearserider/Nysha/Emma – whichever name you love to hate the most.

I’ve been tidying. It’s really quite scary. Among the interesting things I’ve found are:

A bra with a weed print
A pencil wrapped in tinfoil (No, no idea…)
A single black pearl earring
37 wrinkly conkers
A boomerang (I love that thing so much. I just forgot which cupboard I hung it in.)
A tshirt from the 2000 Sydney Olympics. No one I know was at the 2000 Sydney Olympics.
A year 6 art project, consisting of a white tshirt with “St Lucia is cool!” scribbled all over it in fabric pen… it hurts the eyes. I’d take a photo but it’s far too embarrassing.

More coming as I stumble on them…

In the process I’ve been sorting out old clothes I’ll never wear from those I actually need/want. The stuff I want to keep was put on the bed, out of the way. This is what I’m sleeping on tonight: